4 Ways Anxiety is Lying to You
Most of the time anxiety is trying to protect us and keep us safe from potential threats, but the mind gets overzealous and can actually CREATE more anxiety when it's just trying to help. A little anxiety is okay and can be helpful - but too much is exhausting, frustrating and makes us feel worse. Sometimes our anxiety is actually lying to us and instead of helping, it hurts us. Here are 4 ways your anxiety lies to you:
It underestimates your ability to cope. Anxiety overestimates the thing we are afraid of, and underestimates our ability to deal with whatever happens. When this happens fear takes over and we can lose prospective and this is where it is important to have coping skills we can rely on. Plus, we rarely make good decisions that are solely based in fear.
You can’t prepare for every outcome. No matter how many scenarios you think of, it will likely happen in a way you didn’t think of, if it happens at all. This is particularly true in situations that involve other people because no matter how well we know someone, we can’t predict exactly what they are going to say or do every time. Trying to prepare for every possible outcome keeps you operating out of a place of fear, and again underestimating your ability to handle whatever happens. Is it ok to sometimes think through possible scenarios and plan for different outcomes? Of course. But doing it obsessively to the point where you question yourself constantly can’t enjoy yourself (or your vacation, etc), are losing sleep and/or lashing out at others, then it’s is a problem.
Knowing what is going to happen will make you more prepared. I mean sure, if you’re giving a presentation or traveling somewhere, you can generally know what is going to happen. But you can’t estimate and prepare for every little thing that could go wrong because the possibilities are endless. You can work on building skills so that when things go wrong (and sometimes they will), you can trust yourself to handle it.
This is just how you are and that can’t change. Wrong. You can feel better and you don’t have to worry all the time. You can learn how to manage and reduce your anxiety, and sometimes eliminate it altogether.
So what can you do to combat these lies? Working on coping skills when you are not feeling anxious helps build that muscle so you can more easily put it into practice when you do feel anxious. It’s like all the stop-drop-and-roll drills you did as a kid. They taught you that from a young age when you weren’t in danger so that if it happened you would know what to do without having to think about it so much. The same works for a lot of our coping skills. If we work on them now, when we aren’t in the middle of the thing that feels so overwhelming and scary, it’s easier to tap into the skills when it does happen because you already know what to do. That doesn’t mean you can’t benefit from learning how to manage anxiety when you’re in the throes of it - of course it can, but continuing to strengthen those skills is beneficial no matter how you are feeling.
If you struggle with anxiety and are looking for ways manage it so it stops managing you, I highly recommend finding a therapist that specializes in the type of anxiety that you struggle with. If you’re in Colorado you can schedule a consult directly from my website. You can also use Therapy Den tor Psychology Today to find a therapist in your area.
DISCLAIMER: This website is for educational and entertainment purposes only; it is not therapy and is not a replacement for therapy. Reading this website does not constitute a provider-client relationship. Consult your licensed physician or licensed mental health provider regarding advice, questions and support for your mental health. Information found on this website should be used only in conjunction with working with a licensed mental health professional or physician. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, call 911 or 988. Nothing found on this website is intended to be a substitute for professional, psychological, psychiatric or medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Denver Therapy LLC and Ashley French, LPC assume no liability for an actions taken or decisions made in reliance upon, or in response to information contained on this website. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.