Two succulents in cement planters representing therapy for anxiety denver co

Therapy for Anxiety

Anxiety is extremely common, affecting 48 million people in the U.S. annually. On one end of the spectrum anxiety is “normal” and functions to actually help us, such worrying about forgetting something important on a trip so making a list first. Sometimes it feels like anxiety helps us because it ensures we’re almost always prepared, meet deadlines, perform well at work and are known as reliable, etc. But sometimes anxiety becomes a problem (the other end of spectrum) when it starts impacting our quality of life, such as our sleep, relationships, or work. This anxiety, often called High Functioning Anxiety, is the kind of anxiety Denver Therapy specializes in.

High Functioning Anxiety can look like…

People-Pleasing

You worry constantly about what others think, how they feel, or what they will do. It is exhausting and usually causes us you feel anxious in our relationships. What if you say or do the wrong thing? What if you let someone down, or upset them?! The what-ifs can keep you up at night or keep you in decision paralysis where you don’t know what to do because all the options make you feel anxious. Which makes you feel more anxious.

Obsessing over Work Performance and Relationships

I have to work harder than everyone else. I have to show I am dedicated and I want this promotion. I have to be good at work and my relationships and it feels like the only way to do that is for one to suffer. If I mess up will I get fired? If I get fired how will I pay my rent/mortgage? What will my partner, family, and friends think? Am I doing enough? Am I a good enough partner? Parent? Coworker? Boss?

Perfectionism

You’re driven. Successful. You’re known for doing quality work, meeting expectations and often exceeding expectations. You pride yourself on how well you do things. Maybe sometimes you avoid starting things because you feel like you can’t do them perfectly, whether it’s because you lack time or feel you can’t do it perfectly. You are TERRIFIED of failure. And you’re exhausted, on the verge of or already burning out.

Trying to Plan for Every Possible Outcome

At work. On vacation. Home and car repairs. You’re always planning for contingancies and “just in case” scenarios, because you never really know, right? Or getting really focused on planning the “perfect” vacation because you don’t want to waste the PTO and the money you spent. You’re not trying to be controlling, you just want to be efficient and feel prepared. A little preparation never hurt anyone right?

Overthinking Everything

You keep replaying that one conversation over and over again in your head, wondering if you said the wrong thing. You keep editing the same email over and over again because did you convey the right tone? Maybe they won’t get the urgency because it’s important but you’re trying to be polite and considerate. And is it too early to send this email? What if they think you’re crazy for emailing at 5am? And on and on your brain spins…

Hard to Slow Down or Relax

But seriously, who has time for that? You have a career to manage, a family or partner to take care of, places to go, things to do! You can’t slow down, who would pick up the slack? What balls would get dropped if you weren’t managing them? Relaxing sounds nice, but even if you had time to do that (which you definitely don’t), how are you supposed to shut your brain off and actually enjoy it without feeling guilty?

Why do you struggle with Anxiety?

Anxiety can develop for a number of reasons. Sometimes we have a genetic predisposition to different mental health issues, but it doesn’t necessarily mean we fully inherited it from our parents. It can be a combination of nature and nurture, meaning you can be predisposed but there are also things in your environment that lead you to develop anxiety.

Maybe you grew up feeling like you had to be perfect or at least “really good” in order to earn respect, praise, or to be accepted by others.

Maybe you were criticized if you didn’t have perfect grades or a perfect performance on a sports team or creative arts.

Maybe no one ever talked about feelings, so you couldn’t really talked to anyone about feeling anxious (which also made you anxious).

Maybe you were told not to be anxious (right, like that ever works), or told not to feel a certain way and you learned to stuff things down or ignore it, even though you felt it physically (racing thoughts, tightness in your chest, rapid breathing, heart racing, etc).

As an adult, you experience anxiety as worrying all the time, trying to plan for every outcome, feeling afraid, or even some physical symptoms.

High functioning anxiety tends to play out in our relationships, work and in our inner thoughts.

I help clients with anxiety by teaching skills (such as mindfulness and self-compassion), strategies and specific exercises that reduce anxiety. Your anxiety exists for a reason, and when we address those reasons we can reduce the symptoms. When you come to therapy for anxiety, we’ll tackle the root issues causing your anxiety to flare up and give you skills so you know how to manage it on your own long after we are no longer working together. You may never be rid of it entirely because remember, some anxiety can be helpful - but it doesn’t have to feel so intense or have such a big impact on your life. My goal is to work together to reduce your anxiety, reduce it’s intensity and give you tools and skills to handle it when it flares up.

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone and it doesn’t have to keep being this way.

 FAQs about Anxiety Therapy

  • Often anxiety can be treated without medication. Sometimes it can be helpful to be on medication while you are in therapy, but medication by itself usually isn’t enough. Research shows us that medication for anxiety works best in conjunction with therapy. I don’t have the ability to prescribe medication but have providers that I refer to when clients are looking for medication support. If you are interested in medication I’m happy explore it in session and work directly with your medication providers. Bottom line: you don’t have to be on medication to work with me, but if you want to it’s okay and we can talk about it.

  • This isn’t what you want to hear, but the real answer is that there is no set time frame. First, giving anxiety a deadline is like pouring gasoline on a fire, it will only worsen your anxiety as you put pressure on yourself to feel better by this date. Second, how quickly you start to feel better really depends on you. I am skilled at what I do and I will be by your side, but your progress largely depends on how committed your are to the process of therapy and how open you are to new ways of thinking and feeling. Some clients report progress quickly, others need a little more time.

  • My style is not to assign homework like worksheets, etc. I will ask you to practice some of the skills I teach you outside of our sessions together. Sometimes I will recommend books, podcasts or articles to clients who find it helpful. Supplementing what we’re working on in therapy with something that continues to support or challenge you outside of session can help you meet your goals and build confidence.

  • It’s important to know that there are many different types of anxiety, and that’s why not every anxiety therapist is a good fit for every client. Some therapists specialize in panic attacks, specific phobias, OCD, eating disorders (yep, they are a type of anxiety disorder), agoraphobia, debilitating social anxiety, and etc. It’s important that you work with the therapist that can best support you, especially if you are experiencing debilitating symptoms. You can search for therapists in your area by clicking here. If you feel like what you’re experiencing is more intense than, or different from, what you’ve read about on my page then there are other anxiety therapists out there who might be a better fit. You can search for other therapists who specialize in anxiety on psychology today, or fill out the contact form and I’ll be happy to provide referrals for providers who specialize in other types of therapy for anxiety.