How Therapy can help Highly Sensitive Persons
What is a Highly Sensitive Person?
When the word sensitive is used to describe a person most people tend to think of them as someone who feels too much or cries easily, but that’s not what it means. Being highly sensitive is not the same thing as being shy or introverted, and actually many Highly Sensitive Persons are extroverted and outgoing while others are introverted and less talkative. According to Dr. Elaine Aron who first coined the term in the 1990s, Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) basically means a person with a trait where they process and more deeply impacted by stimuli than those who are not sensitive. It’s not the same thing as a sensory processing disorder or autism. HSP’s process everything on a deeper level; sounds, sights, smells, nonverbal cues from others, conversations, touch, emotions, etc. The stimuli can be someone’s tone of voice, facial expression and body language or thinking deeply about how others are affected by things because they know how they would be affected. Physical stimuli in the environment can be noise, physical space and proximity, temperature and lighting. HSPs are taking in more information from subtle and overt stimuli in their environments all the time, which is why they can be easily overstimulated and drained after a long day at work, while a non-sensitive person might have a long work day and still want to go out for happy hour or to dinner or a movie after work.
Here are a few examples of what Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) experience:
easily affected by others moods
needing down time in a quiet or dark space after a really stimulating day such as a busy work day or event, conflict, or a day of sightseeing
wanting to think through every option and detail before making a decision to ensure the right decision is being made
being conscientious and aware of how one’s actions will affect others
easily affected by criticism
feelings get hurt easily
disliking/being uncomfortable with risk and impulsivity
feeling overstimulated when too many things are happening around you at once
feeling overwhelmed when asked to do multiple things at once
struggling when having to perform a task in front of others, but able to do it well when not being observed
startled easily
more impacted by raised voices, shouting and conflict than non-sensitive persons (think flight or freeze responses)
easily overstimulated by things like florescent lights, loud noises, busy environments, violent movies (teenagers handle this well, but HSPs become less tolerant as they enter their late 20s)
stressed by change, even if it something that was desired (like moving, new job, new baby, etc)
finding nature, arts or music to be particularly moving and sometimes healing
sensitive to the affects of caffeine and/or medications, hunger or tiredness
preferring to watch and observe before jumping head first into something new (once it’s familiar /known what is going to happen HSPs can jump in quickly)
difficulty setting boundaries due to a fear of disappointing others of being seen as rude
If many of these sound like you, you’re not alone, and nothing is wrong with you. You might be a Highly Sensitive person if you found yourself agreeing with most or many of the things in the above list. If so, you’re in good company. HSP’s make up about 20% of the population, and interestingly the trait is found in animals at about the same percentage. This trait isn’t something that is learned or develops because of an event or etc; is something you are either born with, or not. It’s been observed in MRIs that highly sensitive persons more stimulated than people who are not sensitive and don’t have this trait. Their brain literally lights up differently than someone who is not sensitive. This deeper processing of stimuli does mean that they get overwhelmed more easily but it doesn’t mean they can’t function or live “normal” lives. Highly Sensitive Persons aren’t limited in their relationships or their careers, but they may need to do them a little differently. They live in cities, the suburbs and rural areas. I’ve found that some HSPs are people-pleasers and perfectionists, but not all. The characteristics of the trait can make someone more prone to people-pleasing but not all HSPs are people-pleasers (and people-pleasing can develop for other reasons). Highly Sensitive People can be outgoing and be the center of a social circle, but they can also have fewer but deeper relationships. Most are well-liked by others and tend to be good at their jobs. They can be CEOs, educators, entrepreneurs, public speakers and have stressful jobs, but they can also be in professions that prefer to be out of the spotlight, work in quiet and calm environments and keep to themselves. No matter their career, HSPs can be great at and find a lot of satisfaction in their jobs when it’s a good fit.
That’s a little bit about what a Highly Sensitive Person is…here is what it is NOT:
it is not a diagnosis, an illness, something that is wrong with you, or a problem to be solved. It’s not autism, a sensory disorder, introversion, ADHD, social anxiety, or shyness (even though it can sometimes look like being shy). These are actually entirely different traits that present in different channels in the brain than the highly sensitive trait.
How can Therapy for Highly Sensitive Persons help?
Therapy provides a safe, non-judgmental space where you can explore your sensitivities, understand them more deeply, and learn strategies to manage the challenges that come with being an HSP. Therapy also helps you identify ways being a Highly Sensitive Person can be a strength. Here are some specific ways therapy can help Highly Sensitive Persons:
Self-Awareness and Acceptance: One of the first steps in therapy is building self-awareness. A skilled therapist, such as a Denver therapist experienced in working with HSPs, can help you identify how your sensitivity manifests in your life. Through therapy, you can learn to accept and embrace your trait as a unique strength rather than a burden.
Developing Coping Strategies: Therapy can equip you with tailored coping strategies to manage overstimulation and emotional overload. Techniques like mindfulness, grounding exercises, or cognitive-behavioral strategies can be particularly effective for highly sensitive persons.
Mindfulness Practices: Mindfulness practices can help HSPs stay present and grounded. Simple techniques such as deep breathing or mindful meditation can reduce anxiety and help manage emotional reactivity.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT can help HSPs reframe negative thought patterns and build resilience. By challenging and changing unhelpful beliefs, you can develop a healthier relationship with your sensitivity.
Enhancing Emotional Regulation: Emotional regulation is crucial for HSPs, and therapy plays a vital role in enhancing this skill. A therapist can guide you in recognizing your emotional triggers and developing strategies to respond to them more effectively.
Building Resilience: Therapy can also help you build resilience by teaching you how to set healthy boundaries and communicate your needs assertively. This empowers you to protect your energy and prioritize self-care without guilt.
Setting Boundaries: Learning to set boundaries is transformative for HSPs. Therapy can help you practice saying no and advocating for yourself in a way that feels comfortable and respectful.
Assertiveness Training: Assertiveness training can bolster your confidence in expressing your needs and preferences, ultimately reducing feelings of resentment and burnout.
Finding the Right Therapist
Finding a therapist who understands the unique challenges of being a highly sensitive person is key. If you're in the Denver or greater Colorado area, consider seeking out a Denver therapist who specializes in working with HSPs. Therapists who specialize in working with Highly Sensitive Persons (like me) provide tailored support and guidance, helping you navigate your sensitivity with compassion and insight.
What to Look for in a Therapist:
Experience with HSPs: Look for therapists who have experience working with highly sensitive persons.
Empathy and Understanding: Choose someone who is empathetic and creates a safe space for exploration. Do not go to a therapist who tells you HSP isn’t real, or whom you feel does not believe you.
Therapeutic Approaches: Consider therapists who offer mindfulness-based or cognitive-behavioral therapies, as these can be particularly beneficial for HSPs.
If you are a Highly Sensitive Person looking for a therapist that gets it - and gets you, you’re in the right spot. As a fellow HSP, I know back and forth phone calls and emails can waste precious energy and become overwhelming, so I’ve made it as easy as possible to schedule a free consultation call with me - no phone tag necessary.
DISCLAIMER: This website is for educational and entertainment purposes only; it is not therapy and is not a replacement for therapy. Reading this website does not constitute a provider-client relationship. Consult your licensed physician or licensed mental health provider regarding advice, questions and support for your mental health. Information found on this website should be used only in conjunction with working with a licensed mental health professional or physician. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, call 911 or 988. Nothing found on this website is intended to be a substitute for professional, psychological, psychiatric or medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Denver Therapy LLC and Ashley French, LPC assume no liability for an actions taken or decisions made in reliance upon, or in response to information contained on this website. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.