Anxiety Spiraling: Understanding the Cycle and How to Stop It
The Dreaded Anxiety Spiral
We’ve all been there. It starts with a seemingly harmless worry like ‘what if I don’t get the promotion’ but then spirals out of control like this - ‘does that mean I don’t have a future at this company? So should I look for a new job? What if my company finds out I’m looking and fires me? If I get fired it will be so much harder to find a new job, and then how will I pay my mortgage? Oh god what if we lose our home?!’ That is an anxiety spiral. You never meant to go down it, it just…happened. And now you’re really worried about the promotion and might even be panicking because your brain now thinks you could be living in a van down by the river like the Chris Farley skit on SNL, where before you just had nervous anticipation.
Sound familiar? You’ve probably had your own version of an anxiety spiral at some point. They are very real, and can be really problematic when they keep us frozen in fear or keep us from being able to show up confidently and calmly in our everyday lives. They are more common than most people realize, mostly because it can be so easy to slip into them. We see SNL skits, memes or reels on instagram that make us laugh because it’s relatable, but it’s also important to acknowledge that though anxiety spirals are common, they aren’t helpful and can actually cause more harm than good. In this blog we’ll talk about what anxiety spiraling is from a practical mental health perspective, why it happens and some tools you can use to stop it.
What Is Anxiety Spiraling?
From a technical standpoint, anxiety spiraling is a downward cycle of anxious thoughts that feed off each other and increase in intensity the longer they continue, usually getting scarier and more catastrophic the longer we stay in the spiral. It can be really hard to stop the spiral once it starts and can cause us to feel worse the longer it progresses. The spirals can cause us to feel hopeless, helpless and fearful. They can impact our self-esteem, confidence and even our work performance. They can impact our relationships if we are constantly questioning ourselves or our relationships and it definitely impacts us physically. Some physical symptoms include racing thoughts, trouble sleeping, rapid breathing or heart racing, feeling shaky, trouble concentrating or even feeling some tightness in your chest or nausea.
Why Does Anxiety Spiraling Happen?
Anxiety spirals start almost the same way panic attacks start - as a reaction to a perceived threat. I say perceived here - and this is an important distinction - because anxiety is a reaction to what we are afraid might or could happen, not something that has already happened or that we know will happen for sure (for example, we know the sun will rise tomorrow, we don’t know if we will get the promotion or not - we cannot know that with the same certainty that we know the sun will come up tomorrow). So, an anxiety spiral happens because your brain interprets a possible future scenario as a real threat and then basically overreacts. Your brain goes on hire alert, activating your flight-or-fight system and your nervous system responds to the sounded alarm. Your nervous system is responsible for the aforementioned physical symptoms you experience (racing heart, feeling shaky, nauseous etc). Your brain begins trying to anticipate outcomes so that you can be prepared, which is why you begin to have the spiraling ‘what if’s and ‘then’ thoughts.
Another thing that happens when we are locked in an anxiety spiral is our brain quickly goes to worst case scenarios in order to try to prepare us or keep us safe. Your brain thinks it is helping by catastrophizing, even though it’s not. Your brain thinks you can mind-read and know the actions and thoughts of others, even though you cannot. Your brain will also engage in what we call overgeneralization, which is where we assume something bad happening once means every future event like it will also be bad. An example of this might be you tried talking to your partner about something that bothered you once, and because they didn’t respond well you now assume they will never respond well. This might all seem ridiculous as you read and think about it now, but it really is your brain trying to keep you safe. The problem is that while it has good intentions, its overzealous response is actually making things worse. And if you haven’t been sleeping or eating well, or are already stressed, it can be even easier to slip into an anxiety spiral.
How to Stop an Anxiety Spiral
About 12 years ago, when I was in my second job out of graduate school (aka still a pretty new therapist), I was panicking about a mistake that I made. I was convinced that it was going to have catastrophic and devastating consequences for me and for my career. I shared this anxiety with someone who was not a therapist, but who was wise and had dealt with her fair share of anxiety. I’ll never forget what she told me. She said, “don’t jump off the cliff until you know it’s a cliff”. I wish I could tell you that I immediately felt better, but I didn’t. It would actually take a few years for me to fully understand and embrace what she said. But in hindsight she was right. My mistake was not in fact, that big of a deal, nor did it have the impact I thought it would. Even writing this I had really delve into my memory to remember what exactly it was that freaked me out so much. Spoiler alert: It was not the huge cliff that I thought it was. It was actually just a little foot deep trench that was easy to jump over and wasn’t a big deal at all.
The good news is that I have a learned a lot since then, and I’ve used that knowledge to help myself and countless clients navigate cliff jumping, aka anxiety spirals. So let’s get into it. How can you stop an anxiety spiral that makes you think there’s a huge cliff over that ledge.
Immediate Strategies to Regain Control in an Anxiety Spiral
Grounding - This just means get in touch with your body and your current physical environment. Put one hand on your stomach and one hand on your chest. Focus on taking deep breaths by breathing in for 4 seconds, hold it for 5, then release it slowly over 6-7 seconds. Focus only on your breathing, coming back to it any time another thought enters your mind. Repeat this process until your body starts to come down a bit.
Awareness - First you want to acknowledge what is happening. Notice that your current thoughts and physical sensations are what you are currently experiencing, but they might not be what is true (because you can’t know what is going to happen, you are not a mindreader now matter how well you know someone or a situation. Sorry, but you aren’t that powerful or all-knowing).
Interrupt The Thoughts - Challenge the thoughts you are having by asking yourself, is this true? Do I know for sure what is going to happen, or do I just think I know? The second part of this can feel the hardest, but is the most important: stop feeding the cycle. Stop trying to answer the next ‘what if’ because it’s only going to keep leading you down the spiral. Instead tell yourself you don’t have to answer that question, and you have the skills and resources to navigate whatever happens (because you do).
Gentle Movement - Physically move your body in a way that feels safe and gentle. I often recommend walking, gentle stretching or even shaking it out physically. The physical movement helps your body physically process the anxiety you just experienced. It dissipates any lingering adrenaline and energy, and helps you think more clearly.
Long-Term Strategies for Preventing Spirals
Mindfulness & Meditation: I know I talk about this a lot but it is so, SO important. Regular meditation and mindfulness are just as effective as strong medications that treat anxiety. Multiple peer-reviewed, clinical studies have found that practicing mindfulness and meditation improve anxiety by decreasing activity in the part of the brain that activates anxiety, and increases activity in the areas associated with feeling calm, reducing reactivity to stress and stressors, and improves emotion regulation.
Seeking Professional Help: If you struggle with anxiety spirals then while I hope this blog is a good starting point, I strongly recommend working with a licensed therapist who specializes in anxiety and practices CBT or MBCT (Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy) - like me! Working with a therapist can help you understand what causes your anxiety spirals, implement strategies to reduce it and give you more tools to handle it in the future.
Anxiety doesn’t have to keep ruling your life, keeping you anxious and afraid. You can recover from anxiety, and be its master instead of the other way around.
If you’re looking for Anxiety Therapy in Denver, you can book a free consultation call directly from my online scheduler here. If you’re not in Colorado you can find a therapist using a directory like Therapy Den or Psychology Today.
DISCLAIMER: This blog is for educational and entertainment purposes only; it is not therapy and is not a replacement for therapy. Reading this website does not constitute a provider-client relationship. Consult your licensed physician or licensed mental health provider regarding advice, questions and support for your mental health. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, call 911 or 988. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. See website disclaimer for more information.
